Summary
➡ The text is about a person who was struggling financially and emotionally, but found solace in practicing gratitude. Despite facing bankruptcy, potential homelessness, and personal issues, they started asking themselves how they could make the law of attraction work for them. They realized the power of gratitude during a morning walk, appreciating simple things like the sunrise, the ability to walk, and the sounds of nature. This shift in perspective led to a significant change in their life, emphasizing that gratitude is more than just words, but a powerful emotion that can transform one’s outlook and circumstances.
➡ The text discusses the idea that fear has been controlling humanity for a long time, but there have been individuals and teachers who have helped us remember love and light to prevent us from being completely consumed by fear. The speaker believes that Earth is a learning planet where we experience both fear and love, light and darkness, to grow as souls. The speaker also shares her personal experiences growing up in a religious cult, feeling different from others, and her journey to break free from it. She emphasizes the importance of love, kindness, and happiness, which she felt were lacking in her upbringing, and her determination to not let fear control her life.
➡ A young girl faced many challenges growing up, including being expelled from school at 13 and facing abuse at home and school. She struggled with suicidal thoughts and tried to understand her life through religion. At 17, she almost jumped off a cliff but stopped when she heard a voice telling her there might be a better life waiting for her. She eventually escaped her difficult circumstances by lying to a man from her community and hitching a ride to Utah, where she began her healing journey and learned about self-empowerment and overcoming victimhood.
➡ The text discusses the power of perspective and gratitude in overcoming life’s challenges. It suggests that our interpretation of events can either empower or disempower us. By finding gratitude in our experiences, we can change our perspective and use our past as fuel for a better future. The text also highlights the importance of understanding the difference between connection and attachment, suggesting that while attachment can be fear-based and limiting, connection can be positive and empowering.
➡ A mother shares her journey of learning to detach from her children after they moved in with their father. She realized that her suffering was due to her attachment to her kids and the life she envisioned for them. By letting go of these attachments and focusing on love and gratitude, she was able to heal her relationship with her children. She encourages others to manage their expectations and be open to new possibilities.
➡ Investing in gold and silver is a smart way to protect your money, especially in uncertain times. The value of these precious metals is expected to rise significantly. People who regularly buy gold and silver could greatly benefit in the future. Buying from carminesgold.com offers great prices, but remember, this is just an opinion, not financial advice.
Transcript
And it has been controlling humanity ever since then. And some people have had the capacity to stay above that. And every once in a while we have, we have a master teacher who comes in that reminds us to bring the light in, that brings the love back in and helps us stay above this defray so that humanity so, so that humanity doesn’t completely cease to exist. Because fear is so controlling that if we don’t consciously keep ourselves above it, the human experience could cease to exist. Before we get started folks, make sure you hit the pause button.
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I’m going to educate you on Gold and silver. Are you ready? You need to own some simple. Hey, good morning everyone and welcome to the Mel Carmine Show. I’m Elisa V, better known as the Queen of High Vibe from my podcast, the High Vibe Show. And today I have the honor once again of sitting in for Mel Carmine. Going forward, I’ll be joining you and I will be here with some really fantastic guests, people who are going to bring us insightful discussions on some of the most intriguing topics of our time. This includes the upcoming Quantum Summit to the Quantum Financial system and Quantum Health.
And your thoughts are always incredibly valuable, so please do share them in the comments below. Like follow and share as well as Mel and I have talked about before. The Upcoming Quantum Summit 2 is happening on March 8th and 9th, 2025 and tickets are going very fast. See the description box below for all the information on how to register for this amazing event. And I’m honored to be one of the CO MCs for this landmark event hosted by Mel Carmine and his esteemed wife Amber. And this promises to bring together the most influential minds, individuals shaping the future of science, health and and governance.
And of course there’s going to be distinguished contributors, including collaborators aligned with the envisioned Trump RFK administration. And they’ll be presenting initiatives aimed at revitalizing America’s health and agriculture by restoring essential trace minerals to our soils. So seating is limited. We are so pumped for this event and the demand is really high. So I’m going to tell you that the tickets are going to cease to be available 10 days before this event event. So I suggest that you check out all the information, go to quantum summit1776.com and secure your tickets. So now, without further delay, let’s get right into it.
And I’m thrilled to introduce our guest today, Victoria Reynolds. Welcome Victoria. Hi. Thank you so much for inviting me to be here. It’s really an honor, it’s an honor to have you and I think as our audience is soon going to learn, you bring to the table today so many amazing ideas, concepts and a wealth of knowledge from your own spiritual experience. And I just want to, you know, just for the viewers who may not be familiar with you, I want to just tell you that Victoria Reynolds is a dream weaver and intuitive futurist. As a professional, award winning speaker, speaker, best selling inspirational, author of eight books and future path coach, she works with clients to reverse their trauma, look into their future and create the best life.
In today’s conversation, she’s going to share some of her intriguing background from her upbringing in a cult to a spiritual luminary. To her purpose of moving humanity from a fear based reality to a heart based reality, spiritual freedom and Christ consciousness. Wow, what a what, what an incredible resume there. So, so why don’t we just jump right into it? I know when you and I were off camera a couple of days ago, we were, you know, chatting and we ended up chatting for, for longer than I thought because we just, we were just having such a good time talking about all this wonderful stuff.
So can you talk to the idea and tell the audience a little bit about how you reverse and reframe people’s perspective so, so that, you know, the b. The baggage becomes our wings in your words. Yeah, I, I use what I call the transcendence process. I wrote about it, my first book, Transcending Fear. And it was my own process actually. Didn’t, didn’t have any intention to write a book. It was after the 2008, call it the Holy Shift. It was my holy shift. But Great Recession of 2008 was, was that catalyst moment that, and I explained to people all the time that, that awakening to spiritual awakening.
So there, there are two kinds of awakenings happening on the planet. There’s an awakening and awareness of the corruption and the game that’s been played on humanity. And then there’s a spiritual awakening that is that, that causes us to have us this spiritual, deeper spiritual connection inside of ourselves and we start moving up this spiritual spiral which is what people would call ascension. I call it the transcendence process. And so in 2008, the economic crash, basically it was the catalyst that woke me up. Okay. It took me to my knees, it put me out of business, put my husband out of business, put my home in foreclosure, put us in bankruptcy, and both my kids were diagnosed with learning disorders.
And it brought me all the way down to the bottom of what felt like a bottomless pit of despair. And I had to figure out how to get myself back out again. And you know, there, there was a point where I was standing in the pharmacy line thinking of filling a, a prescription, an antidepressant subscription. And they. The reason I didn’t is because one of the side effects of suicide and I was like, well, what’s the point of taking an antidepressant if one of the side effects is suicide? And I’m trying to. I wanted to be there for my 2 year old and my 5 year old.
Sure. And so I discovered that what I needed more than anything else was sunshine and exercise and Some time to myself. And so I got up every morning at 5:30 every morning and I would go for my walk because it was the only time I had for anyone who has small children. My son was awake at six o’clock every morning. That was his wake up time, my 2 year old. And so I had to get up earlier than that if I wanted to have some time for myself. And I was so committed to healing my trauma and to finding my happiness that I got up that early and went for a walk every morning.
Wow, that’s really dedication because we’ve all been. Well, I’ve been there anyway with the small kids, especially when they’re fairly close in age. Right. It’s, it’s tough. So, so you actually chose, you know, and not to, not to digress. But it, it’s almost laughable when we listen to these pharmaceutical commercials because it’s like everything that you’re supposedly taking a medication for is exactly what can happen as a side effect. So it’s like, is this a joke? Like this is so ridiculous. So obviously that was a, that was a real eye, eye openening moment where you realized, I’m not going to even attempt to go down that path.
So you started forging your own healing process and prescription of your own. Yeah. And it was interesting because I, I was walking, I had no idea I had the ability to communicate with. I thought talking to yourself and answering yourself was normal. So I would up and I would go for my walk every morning around my neighborhood. And if my son woke up early, I put him in the stroller in his PJs. And that’s how committed I was. I would walk with him and his PJs if I needed to. And as I was walking every morning, I started asking myself, it’s so funny because this was back when the movie the Secret came out.
And so I was walking asking myself, how do I make this work for me? How do I make this work for me? How do I make this work for me? Because at the time I didn’t have any money. Like we had just. We were in the middle of bankruptcy and on the verge of being homeless and losing our home. And I, so I just was asking myself, how do I make the law of attraction work for me? Because the people that were teaching law of attraction wanted like $5,000 to teach it. And I didn’t have $5,000 to learn how to make the law of attraction work.
So I’m walking through my neighborhood and I asked, how do I, how do I make this Work for me. How do I make this work for me? My entire focus in that time was where am I going to get some money to feed my family? Because that day, standing in the pharmacy and I had. Had had some visions of suicide and my husband had said, we have $14 in the checking account and I don’t know where more money is going to come from. And our. One of our cars had been repoed. The only thing we had was my car, which was paid for.
And we were over a million dollars in debt because of these companies that had gone under. And I, I was desperate. And so that’s why I was like, I’m like 5:00 in the morning, 5:30 in the morning, I have to get up. That’s how desperate I was. So I’m walking down the. The neighborhood and I’m asking myself, how, how can I change my life? How can I make law of attraction work for me? How can I heal what’s. What I’m feeling inside of me? And the answer that came in was begin with gratitude. And I had no idea at the time how powerful gratitude is.
And, and as I heard that message, I looked up and I saw this, this sunrise that was one of the most beautiful sunrises I’ve ever seen over the houses in my neighborhood. This beautiful purple and pink sunrise coming up over the houses. And what I heard was be grateful for the eyes to see the sunrise. Wow. Because until then I was like, I don’t have anything to be grateful for. I have two kids that have all these issues. I’m losing my house, my marriage is a wreck, I’ve lost my businesses, I’m in bankruptcy, the house is in foreclosure.
They repo Joel’s. Like, everything that would possibly go wrong was happening in my life. And I was supposed to figure out how to be grateful for that. And, and that. That Be grateful for the eyes to see the sunrise. And then be grateful for the legs that carry you on this walk. And be grateful for the skin that feels the breeze on your face. And be grateful for the ears that hear the birds chirping. And that’s when I started realizing that that gratitude is so much more than just lip service. It is a visceral experience that we have in our body.
And when we allow ourselves to go into that visceral experience, it changes everything. My entire life started shifting from that one morning experience. So tell me about this visceral change. Like what for, for people who, you know, there’s so many people today that are suffering too right they’re either suffering financially or with their health. And like you said, it’s, it’s hard to get that perspective sometimes that there are all these other things separate from our problems or those very. And not to minimize any of it. Right. I mean, you had every aspect of your life that was kind of caving in and many people do, they find themselves similarly struggling with the same kind of overwhel.
So what actually, you know, I know like as a follower myself of, of Dr. Joe Dispenza and so many other, you know, other authors like yourself who talk about this, explain what actually happens. Because I always like to, when I talk about like frequency and high vibration, which can be a very woo woo subject, you know, in some people’s eyes. There’s so much science and proof and physics behind all this. So let’s talk a little bit about what, what is actually happening when practicing or engaging in this gratitude emotion. Yeah. Because it’s more than just an attitude.
Right. So when you talk about frequency and vibration, that’s what gratitude is. You, you can actually sit in the vibration of gratitude. The, the emotion of gratitude. And it’s, it starts to, it starts to take over your body. And, and so for me, it comes out my eyes when we call tears. Sometimes when I’m so incredibly grateful, I start crying because it, because there’s so much energy in my body of love that it has to come out somewhere. So for me, it comes out through my eyes. And, and so it’s, it’s understanding that, that when you, when you sit in this gratitude, it’s, it’s more than just saying, oh, I’m so grateful I have the eyes to see.
It’s this. I have been given these extraordinary eyes that get to see the magnificence of this beautiful planet we live on. So we’re not just talking words, we’re actually having the energetic feeling that goes through like almost every cell in our body. Like almost in a, a sense of rejoicing over this. Would that be a way of kind of saying it? We’re rejoicing. Yeah. And I, and I actually have chills. I just, I just got chills talking about this. So. And you know, I always like to bring that down to a very easy to understand way.
And it’s almost like if you envision what you feel like when someone gives you a gift, right. Christmas morning or your birthday or just, just some event that, you know, someone does something kind for you or so like you feel that energy fill you because you’ve been given something so we’re almost reminding ourselves of what we’ve been given to bring ourselves to that emotional state of feeling the intensity. And, and as you said, you know, gratitude is so tied to love and love is kind of the answer to us as humanity, right to ascend and to do our, do our, I guess our mission here on Earth, right to be kind to others and help others.
Tell me now I know that your purpose, you’ve stated that you know, you want to, you want to help bring humanity from this fear based reality to spiritual freedom. But we, we also, you know, I know there’s for you, you have a lot of knowledge about how did we get here? Like what’s the history of this fear based reality that we live in. I know we spoke about this briefly together off camera, but I’d love to open that conversation again. Understanding is when I started. Okay, I go back to this, this gift of, of hearing spiritual prompting.
I think we all have that. It’s just that lot of people don’t recognize they do or they have their filters up or they have their egoic expectations of how they think things have been. Because once we start to have a spiritual awakening and causes us to rethink everything we’ve ever thought about everything and, and, and, and, and question everything and we might have to disbelieve everything we’ve believed about everything. And that, that disbelieving is, is the most painful part of the ascension process because we have to have a willingness to disbelieve everything. And so when I started having these messages come in and I, and I channel was open between myself and my higher self.
In 2010, one of the first messages that came in as I was asking, well what do you mean we live in a fear based reality? Before that I wasn’t even aware. Now by default we make our choices based on fear. That’s what a fear based reality is. All of our systems are based on fear. Our religiosities are based on what I call fear disguised as love. Our, our decisions are all based on fear first. And, and, and so I started asking, well, we live in this fear based reality. Where did this come from? And the response that I got was about 11,000 years ago, fear came to the planet and that before that we lived in what Christianity and Judaism calls the Garden of Eden.
That Earth was this beautiful garden of peace. And then fear came to the planet and the beings who brought fear with them learned how to use it as a tool for control. And it has been controlling humanity ever since then. And, and some people have had the capacity to stay above that. And every once in a while, we have, we have a master teacher who comes in that reminds us to bring the light in, that brings the love back in and helps us stay above this defray so that humanity, so that, so that humanity doesn’t completely cease to exist.
Because fear is, fear is so controlling that if we don’t consciously keep ourselves above it, the human experience could cease to exist. And there have been other, I don’t know how else to call this. The virtual reality games have been played on this planet that did not succeed. Like entire civilizations that have disappeared. And the reason they’ve disappeared is because they did not stay. And the loving. And so in this, in this human experience we’re having now, we’ve had master teachers like Buddha and Yeshua and other master teachers who’ve come in to help us remember the light and help us remember the love so that we don’t get so completely sucked down into fear that this experience ceases to exist and humanity becomes just another lost civilization.
So my understanding is that was about 11,000 years ago when, when this fear came to the planet. Now, on a soul level, we actually agreed to learn through the contrast. So nothing happens that isn’t allowed by creator source. So this was a planet based on love. As souls, we agreed, we wanted to learn through the contrast, and so fear was allowed to come into our collective space so that we, as souls, could learn through the fear. So in order to recognize our light, there needs to be darkness, and in order to find the love, there needs to be that contrast in order for us to find it.
So as a, as a soul learning to experience, we need to experience both the fear and the love and the light and the dark. And that as souls, we agreed to learn through that contrast. And, and then what I was shown also was that Earth is a learning planet until we, as a collective of souls, agree for it to be planet of peace. You know, it reminds me. Oh, I’m sorry, it reminds me of Dolores and says, we’re in Earth school, Right? When she says we’re in Earth school, it’s like a, we’re here to learn, we’re here to grow.
So continue. I, I, it just, I had that thought because it is, it’s, it’s a place. Excuse me, Dolores Cannon. Dolores Cannon. It’s so funny, people ask me if I’m like, I have no idea who she is, and I’ve never read a thing, but yeah, so, so it’s funny you say that. When I was a little Girl. I remember talking to my mom, and I go, mommy, Earth is a. Earth is like a school for. For souls. And she’s. My mom’s like that. Like, where in the world did you get that crazy idea from? And I was like, I don’t know.
It just makes sense to me. So it’s interesting because apparently I’ve always had this gift of understanding what the adults around me were teaching me, something different. And so because of that, what I was being taught in this religious cult that I grew up in, it didn’t make sense to me. I was like, the. The men in my religion were teaching me one thing, but I was like, I died. That. That doesn’t. You know, the word I would use now is. That doesn’t resonate with me as a child. It was. That doesn’t make any sense. This other thing that God isn’t racist or sexist.
Makes more sense to me, is that women are just as important and just as valuable as men. Makes more sense to me because I was raised with this very misogynist. I grew up in a polygamous cult, so men actually owned women. Okay. And I. I just. I. I have always had this ability to see beyond whatever the narrative is that’s taught to me, that’s being fed to me. And so I’ve always just seen the world differently than other people. And what’s interesting is I. I thought everybody else did. I just assumed everybody else had these abilities that I now know were telepathic.
I thought everybody else talked to themselves and got brilliant answers from themselves. I didn’t realize it was. That it was different. Sure. What is interesting is how many people have had those gifts awakened in the last 10 years. Yeah. As more and more light floods the planet and more and more of these gamma waves flood the planet that have started. That started coming in in about 2014. We started getting hit with these G waves that are waking people’s pineal glands up. And so. So now it’s not that unusual for people to have these kinds of interesting conversations with themselves.
Yes. That’s kind of normal for me. Yeah. And it’s so refreshing. Right. For those of us who have been thinking along these lines for so long and, you know, feeling labeled, you know, for. For being that way. And now it’s. The world is opening up more, and people like, they. It becomes more of a natural conversation. I want to just go back to it for a second, to the cult. So how did you actually break out? Or, you know, like, how did that journey. Because even though you knew On a very visceral level, that there was something, you know, not right or there was another way that made more sense to you.
You were still, you know, as a child, you’re enmeshed, and that’s your reality and those. That’s your family. So how did you. That had to have been a very. I would think, painful or just, you know, a transition that you had to go through. How did you manage to get away and, you know, your free thinking to permeate the way you live. You know, it’s interesting because I always. I was always a free spirit. I actually got spanked a lot for that. It started when I was about 3 years old, and some cousins came from California to visit, and I wanted to leave with them.
Okay. Because they were so much happier and so much more loving than this supposedly loving environment that I was being raised in. And they weren’t in cult. I’m assuming they weren’t in it. Yeah. They were just driving through when their RV stopped by to see my mom was. My mom’s sister and her husband and my cousins that were my age. And I wanted to leave with them because they were so much happier and so much kinder and so much more loving than the people in the culture that My own family and this brotherly love community that’s.
You know, people talk about intentional communities, and I’m like, you need to be really careful, because they can turn into cults really easy. And. And then I. And then I got my hands on this on a magazine. It was like a. A. Without getting into the details, it was a. I don’t know, Montgomery Wards magazine or something like that. But I remember seeing pictures in this magazine of. Of happy women and women wearing beautiful clothes and beautiful things and thinking, when I grow up, I want to be like those women. I didn’t want to be like any of the women that were around me.
They were. They were. They just didn’t have any real life to them. I don’t know how else to explain that, but it was like, almost like a void. Almost like a void. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, they. They had. They had. You know, they all had a dozen kids. They were all way too busy. They didn’t have. They didn’t seem happy. They were always. It just. I don’t know if it was the. The guilt and the shame and the. The massive expectations that were placed on women at that. They just. I didn’t want to be like them.
I didn’t want to be a woman who just sat at home all day and cooked and Cleaned and took care of babies and I didn’t, I just, I just knew when I was four years old I didn’t want that. And then, and then I broke my leg and I spent a month in the hospital. And it’s interesting because at 4 in the hospital, I didn’t want to go home. Like what 4 year old doesn’t want to go back to their family? I did not want to go back home. And so it was, it was this, this constant reminder in my life that that wasn’t the life for me.
And then I got molested. And then I got molested. And then I got, when I was 11, my dad promised, sorry, I’m outside and there’s some little bugs flying around. Then When I was 11, my dad promised me to a friend of his, a middle aged friend of his. And I just, I knew, I, I, I knew that if I didn’t find another life that my dad was going to make me marry this guy. And so that’s when I started trying to figure out how I was going to run away. Okay, and how did you eventually do that? Because that had to have really been a, a challenge, you know, at 11, to have the realization that you need to get away, you know, think about ourselves, having children, 11, their kids, you know, like you look at them, they’re kids, like they need to be protected and, and loved and taken care of.
And here you were feeling this kind of aloneness of being in danger. So what happened next? I didn’t really do anything until I was about 13. I was in eighth grade. My eighth grade teacher was making passes at me in front of the class and it was, it was so acceptable for old men to scope out little girls. That, that so, so I told him to get his effing hands off me and he told me to leave, that I needed to, that he expelled me from school and I was never allowed to come back. And that was the first time I ran away.
So I was 13, I got on my bike and I rode out of town and my plan was I was going to go to the neighboring town and I was going to live with my grandparents. But I didn’t get very far. I got to town and then somebody in the community saw me and told my dad and he brought me back and beat me. And that was really when I was like, I have to. He, he was more insistent on agreeing with the 8th grade teacher than me. How be such betrayal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and that’s the relationship I had with my dad.
I, you know, your dad’s supposed to protect you, but he was always hurting me. And so I talked my parents into letting me go to public high school, but girls were not allowed to go to school after eighth grade. But I talked them into letting me go to public high school. And I think part of it’s because my dad felt guilty about the way he treated me. But then when I was in public high school, I got severely beaten. I got raped in school. In high school, yeah. In. In school, I had to drop out of high.
Okay, so I dropped out of high school. And then for like two years trying to figure out how can I get out? How can I get out? How can I get out? I was obsessed with trying to figure out how to commit suicide. And I was so afraid it wouldn’t work, that I didn’t. Like, I was more afraid of. Of. Of ending up being a vegetable in the hospital, of ending my life or that. That still. That. That underlying fear of what if they’re right and what if I kill myself and I spend eternity in hell? Right.
But in the meantime, I was. I was going to. To religion classes because. Because there’s always been something in me that wanted to understand. That wanted to understand the spiritual concepts behind religion. So I actually went to church every week because I wanted to, not because I was forced to, not because I was coerced to. Not because I was bribed. When some of my siblings went because they were bribed, I went because I wanted to understand. I wanted to understand how. How spirit works. What. And, and so one of the religious classes that I went to was, it was for advanced high school.
Kids were more. Which is so funny, who were more committed to the religion. They didn’t realize I actually wasn’t committed to the religion. I was just curious about how it worked. So I took all the classes. And this particular class, they said that a man needs to have 12 wives and that, you know, you’re married to this guy for eternity whether you like it or not. And I was like, well, that sounds to me more like hell because I’m like, I don’t know, spending my eternity with a man I despise when making millions of babies does not sound like my idea of heaven.
So I just. Yeah, I. I was almost obsessed with trying to figure out how to get out of my life. So I was 17. I had climbed up to this cliff that I’d been to many times before, and I decided it was. That I was going to jump, that I was done. And just before I jumped, I heard the words, what if Everything they’ve ever told you is a lie. Wow. And what if there’s a better life waiting for you? And that was, that was just enough. That was enough for me to just. To stop and step back and, and look for another way out.
So. But what’s really interesting, have to share this with you. What’s really interesting about that is I came to the. I had the discovery a couple of months ago. I was actually on Sacramento CBS News doing a segment and I was in the, in the green room with, with my mentor and he said, what would you say to that 17 year old on the edge of the cliff? And I said, you know what? I closed my eyes. I was like, you know, I would tell her what Everything they’ve ever said to you is a lie. And what if there’s a better life waiting for you? And I went, oh my gosh, that voice I heard on the cliff when I was 17, that was me.
Yeah, from the future, talking to my past self and that, you know, and I work with my future self all the time. I just never worked. Realized when I was a teenager that that was me in the future telling me, telling me not to jump. So literally, maybe two or three days later, I got a friend of mine who lived in Utah and she said, oh, that cult I gripping is in Montana. She said, if you can find a way out, I have a place where you can stay. So she. There was a woman in Utah who had a couple of teenage girls and she had taken my friend Jennifer in because Jennifer had run away about a year earlier.
So Jennifer said, if you can find a way here, you can stay with us. And so then it was just a matter of me waiting, waiting for the right time. And so what happened a couple of months later is one of the men in the community committed suicide and a bunch of his family came from Utah. And I, I lied. I told one of the guys. My parents said it was okay if I left, if I. I was like, yeah, I’m gonna get a ride to Utah. I’ve got some friends I need to go see. And.
And they believed me. So I, I grabbed a brown paper bag with my teddy bear, my pajamas, my toothbrush, and a couple of changes of clothing and that was it. I just, I got in the back of that car and drove away. Wow. Wow. And then, and then the real. I guess the real healing began. Right. And getting you on a whole whole other path that has led you here. So I love your quote. One of the things we spoke about, one of the quotes you said Was that. And I hope I’m going to get this right.
The consciousness of how we approach things will determine the circumstance. And I love how you describe what that means because I think for a lot of people that are struggling like you at the time when, you know, 17 years old, feeling that there’s no answer, no matter which way you look, the only answer is to just leave the earth. Right. And you know, you, you had that, the guidance of your higher self, your future self, you know, whatever it was made you realize, you know, you had to be here, you had work to do and you were valuable and there was, there was more to your journey.
So tell me a little bit about like this idea of, you know, consciousness actually helping us, you know, determine the circumstances where most people go through life saying, well, I’m in this circumstance and you know, like I’m sort of a victim to it and there’s no way out. Like I think that’s part of that whole idea of living in fear or limitation. Right. To not be able to see what that potential is and then manifest it. Yeah, it goes back to that fear based reality. The default is to go back into fear. And, and victimization is a fear based concept.
Being a victim of our circumstances. So one of the things I share with people is you can’t be self empowered and be a victim at the same time. It’s, it’s impossible. You got to choose one or the other. So as long as you, you believe that you’re a victim of your circumstances, you won’t ever be self empowered. And you know, it’s one of the reasons that media is constantly bringing up the circumstances so that, so we stay in fear and we stay in victim mode. Disempowers us. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. So circumstances, circumstances exist. It’s impossible to get through the human life unscathed.
The entire purpose for being human is to have experiences and to learn from those experiences. So the circumstances exist. It’s the story that we tell ourselves about the circumstances that, that either disempower us or that empower us. So every story we have about our lives is just that. It’s the way that we perceive the circumstance that causes it to either be root for disempowering or as, as I said, or, or becomes the wing. So for example, when I’m in, when I say begin with gratitude that that tool is so powerful because you can take that into any part of your story and ask yourself what in this story can I be grateful for? You change your perspective.
The story happened. What Changes is your. What you tell yourself about the story. What changes is the perspective that you have about the story. What changes the consciousness that you have about that story. So every story, every. I mean, I use the term story because really, that’s what this is. Our circumstances in our life are really just our backstory, right? And we use that backstory to fuel our desired future. If we don’t, if we change the way we perceive the story so it’s no longer disempowering, and when we shift our consciousness about it, it becomes fuel for a better reality rather than the.
The baggage that we drag along behind us. So. So the. The first way to change your consciousness about a story is with gratitude. So one of the. A really, really quick example when we were sitting in the attorney’s office filing for bankruptcy, and I’m. I’m sitting there and thinking, you know, having a little pity party of, oh, my gosh, only losers file for bankruptcy. How in the world did I get into such a mess that I have to resort to this? Because for me, bankruptcy was something that. Because when people file for bankruptcy, it becomes a drain on the rest of the economy.
At least that was my perspective of it. And that only absolute losers, complete failures, file for bankruptcy. So I’m sitting in the. In the attorney’s office, and I asked myself, what can I be grateful for in this? Because there’s always something to be grateful for. And the message that came in was, be grateful that you’re given a second chance, because some countries you don’t get that. In some countries, your children would be responsible for your debt. In the past, you would be put in prison for debtors. You know, debtors prison. Be grateful you have this opportunity for a second chance, because bankruptcy does give you a second chance.
And. And so that. That was huge for me to sit there in the attorney’s office and realize, oh, this is actually a good thing, and be grateful and. And so grateful that I. That I had that, you know, and it wiped out most of my debt. There’s some things you can’t put through bankruptcy. But sure, it gave us another chance. It gave us. And then it gave us a chance to save our house. And so we were able to pull our house out of foreclosure the day before it went to auction, like, literally cut that really close.
And. And so gratitude has always been. That’s how powerful it is in my life because it can transmute everything. And so asking myself, and how can I be grateful for the childhood that I had? How can I be Grateful for the experiences that I had. And I’m not necessarily grateful that I was raped, obviously. Right. But, but, but you can change the story you tell yourself about the circumstance. I’m grateful for the lesson that I learned out of it. So what ended up happening is I confronted a couple of years later when I was, when I, I discovered self improvement in the 1980s.
Okay. And that’s when I started using forgiveness. So I went back and I forgave my parents for raising me the way they did. I called up the boys who raped me. I found one of them, and I forgave him for raping me. And, and, and what he, he said, you know, he said I was drunk. I didn’t. Didn’t know what I was doing. And, and, and I’m so sorry that I ruined your life. And I, the, the gratitude for that experience isn’t the gratitude for the experience itself, but grateful for the lesson that I learned and that everybody is doing the very best they can.
Yeah. With what they know. You know, my parents raised me the best way they knew how, with what they knew. This boy did the best he could at the time with what he knew. He thought I was a willing participant. And, and so the, the circumstance. I’m not necessarily grateful for the, the, the exact things that occurred. However, I’m grateful for the lessons that I learned from the experiences because they’ve made me a better person. Understanding why people do the things that they do and then. And then understanding that as a soul, I chose to put myself in those.
In that situation. Yeah, that’s. That’s something that, you know, if you are not kind of on this journey and you try to explain that concept to someone, people, just. Why would I ever ask to be here and go through this and go through that? And I, I can think of a few people in my own life that I would sort of label as professional victims. Like, they have made a career of being a victim, and matter what happens, their default is always, this happened to me. This person did this, this. And, you know, it really gets tired after a while.
Like the, the, the first time you hear a story, you want to hug the person, you want to help them heal. But when somebody just keeps doing that, they can’t get out of their own way to realize that they are literally wasting their life in this low negative vibration that just. It just keeps them so unable to see all the possibilities, whether it be relationships, whether it be, you know, different experiences, or, you know, living a more intentional life. And I think that the gratitude aspect of it, you know, like, as a, as a coach, that’s one of the, I want to say quick tricks, and I, and I don’t mean to, you know, but it’s sort of a little bit of a quick trick to teach people when you want to get out of some of those low vibrations, especially people I work with going through divorce.
Divorce or a difficult life transition, you know, you, you don’t want to let yourself stay in fear and lack. And you know, so you, you introduce abundance and practicing that. And before you know it, you know, it starts to become habit. And then before you know it, all of a sudden, like, these things start happening. Like, oh, I didn’t, wow, that person showed up. Or this, you know, this opportunity showed up. So I think gratitude has become like a, like you said, you know, gratitude, you know, the, you know, be in the attitude of gratitude, and everybody just like, uses it like a buzzword.
But it, the intensity of what it does to our bodies, to our minds and to our futures, right? How we, how we really take all that we’ve been given being on this earth, like, by having that attitude. I think it’s, your story is remarkable. And I think, you know, it’s a testimony to how you used gratitude to actually bring you to such heights. You know, you’re an author. You’re, you know, you, you are, you go around on the media and talking to people and try to enlighten them. So I guess, you know, as we’re coming to an end, I wanted to ask you one last thing.
I wanted to kind of address this idea of connection versus attachment, because I think that’s a really, those are good concepts to, to give people a little bit more to think about from this show. Can you speak to that? And you know, what the differences are and you know why Some can be very positive. You know, one can be very positive, and one can maybe hold us back a little bit. Yeah, I, I, for a long time, I couldn’t understand the difference. Typically, I’m saying you need to detach from whatever. And I was like, why would I want to detach from my kids, right? Or, or the, my desired path or what I want the outcome to be.
So we as human beings, we, we like our attachments because especially, you know, as children, we’re attached to our parents. That is a, that is a survival mechanism to be attached to our parents and without that attachment. So when children are abused or they feel unsafe that that attachment is threatened, and it can affect them for the rest of their lives because they didn’t have that healthy bonding attachment with their parents. Now I didn’t have that with my parents. I didn’t ever have an attachment with them. But we, we still need that, you know, while we’re young, just for someone to look after us and to take care of us.
And, and, and attachment can be fear based because it’s as we, as we grow. It’s almost like a way of trying to control the outcome. And I didn’t understand the difference until a few years ago. My husband and I separated in 2020 and my kids, without getting into details, went to live with their dad. And that was so anyone who’s a mom can understand how excruciatingly painful that is. It felt like, like someone ripping my heart out. And, and I was sitting later that, that evening and I tuned into my kids higher selves. I’m so grateful I have the ability to do that.
And I asked their higher selves what is this all about? And what their higher self said to me is, you need to detach. You’re too attached to your children and you need to detach. You need to allow them to grow up. They were teenagers, 14 and 17. And I, and the vision that came in with that is that my teenagers had pacifiers in their mouth. And I was like, oh, okay. That I had been over mothering them. Now I thought that I was, I’m not a, I’m not a helicopter mom. I pretty much let them do their thing.
I had such a great communication with my kids. I didn’t have to punish them, they didn’t. I didn’t have to do timeouts because we had, I did what I call conscious parenting. My kids knew they could talk to me so we could talk about anything. Didn’t have to be this, this parent that punishes their kids. So I, then I was in the there with her dad and I was like, I. It was really interesting because that brought me all the way back down to that bottomless pit of if I can’t have my kids, then what’s the point of living? Right.
I think mothers can really relate to that. Yeah, right. I was like, then I like what’s the point? I might as well just kill myself if I can’t have my kids. And, and this is after all of the tools and the, and some of the books I’d written. But it’s still like, it’s still there that because my kids had become such a big part of my life purpose that if I don’t have them in my life, then my life has no purpose. And, and so I’m sitting with that later and my higher self is like, come on, you know better than that.
I’m like, I know I, I know better than that. Right. I have the consciousness to know I know better than that. But my kids higher selves reminded me that I, they chose me because they knew that I would be a good guardian for them and that I would be a good teacher for them, but that I don’t own them. They don’t belong to me. Human beings do not belong to each other. We don’t own each other. Right. We’re here to support each other, but not to own each other. And, and so I, you know, when I pulled myself back out and the next day I was walking through my yard and Buddha comes in and Bodhis Buddha said, I want to explain to you what I really said.
And what he said is there’s a, there’s a saying where Buddha says that desire is the root of all suffering. And he said, that’s actually not what I said. He said attachment is the root of all suffering. And the reason that you feel so much suffering in this right now is because of over attachment to your kids. Not just attachment to them, but attachment to the path that you thought you wanted them to take. Attachment to how you thought things were going to ride out, attachments to who you thought they were, attachments to your path with them.
The suffering came from the attachments of how you thought things should have been. And so when we even talk about our lives, the suffering we have in our lives is because of our attachments to how we think the past should have been, how we think other people should be, how we think a. Circumstances should be, how we think other people. And, and so what I started learning was, oh, I can detach from them, from their past and how I thought it should be, yet still have that emotional connection between my children. And when I started letting go of the attachments, the relationship with my kids started to heal because what was left was just love and gratitude.
Let go of all attachments. And I just, every day was love and gratitude. Love and gratitude. Love and gratitude. Love and gratitude. Love and gratitude. And the, their heart started to melt and they started coming back to me. Yeah. Without the attachments. You know, I have a really lovely relationship with my young adults now. Oh, that’s wonderful. And yeah, I love that because you, you put it in a very spiritual context. Like when, when I’m coaching people, let’s say going through divorce, I use a different expression. I call it managing expectations. Because Sometimes we have a view either, you know, this is how it has to be.
And if you can’t detach or manage that and, and open up to, to other possibilities, you’re going to be stuck. You’re going to always feel like this victim of this divorce or this, whatever happened, as opposed to saying, you know what, I can, I can let go a little bit and maybe make some room for a new idea, a new thought, a new possibility. But you’re right, you have to let. You have to let that go first. And sometimes the best way to let it go, we keep coming back to this is through that, that gratitude because we have to first get grounded in, you know, all the good stuff that we do have and that’s around us.
Victoria, this has been so wonderful. I want everyone to know how they can follow you and get in touch with you. The best way to find me is. Victoriareynolds.com I do have a YouTube channel. My. I’m. I’m going to be starting up a new show in January when I get settled back into somewhere. I’ve been nomadic for a year and a half. I think I actually have a place to call Home fearless and free TV is my YouTube channel. And I have a new show coming called Question Everything. So it’s going to be a really interesting place to learn all kinds of interesting things.
So is that a new channel like your current channel is Fearless, not a new channel? Yeah, it’s going to be a new playlist. The. The channel’s there and up, but I’m creating a new playlist called Question Everything. Oh, wonderful. And then, and then you can find all of my books on my website@victoria reynolds.com and I also offer personal coaching. I have a new another class coming where I teach this transcendence process that I used to heal my life. I actually teach that as a class and that next class is starting up in January and yeah, that’s how people.
Oh, that’s wonderful. Well, thank you so much and thanks for taking the time. And you look like you’re in a very beautiful, peaceful place right now, so. So I hope you’re enjoying that lovely weather. And I know that we’ll hopefully speak soon. And I do want to thank everyone for being here today. For more information on, you know, all the ways to get in touch with Victoria will be down in the description box. And just remember to stay in that energy of love and gratitude and you will find that your life will manifest everything that will bring you happiness.
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